Anticipation

August 5, 2007

Have you ever anticipated something only to find yourself disappointed? Then what makes it worse is when that annoying little voice in the back of your head says ‘I told you so’? I’m sure we’ve all had an experience along those lines at least once in our lives. I’ve had my fair share of that as well. I just haven’t learned yet. Yes, because I’m either a dumbass or… well yeah, a dumbass. I have this very bad habit of practically betting my life on something that is supposed to happen. You could say that I tend to have absolute confidence in what I’m anticipating. When it doesn’t happen, I scramble to come out with a half-baked, shameless back-up plan.

 

That is the routine I’ve been living out this past year. It applies to many things, really. School, financial standing, barkada trips and even romance. Anticipating something then it crumbles right in front of you. Yes, I am ranting. the coming paragraphs will contain more so if you’re tired of it already, you may stop reading now.

 

Okay, if you’re still reading, then I thank you for taking time to read. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. This time around, I will be in the topic of something which I don’t often put up on blogs. Well, at least not in quite some time. To some, it’s a dreaded plague; others a wondrous sensation; and to some just another feeling. It’s about love and relationships. I will simply share the fact that I’ve been rather on the low end when it comes to that department.

 

I’m not the ladies man. I do not reel in the babes by the truckloads like some other guys out there. I am the guy that girls laugh with/at but would never really be the guy they’d consider going out with. Maybe the thought would cross their minds once but they would be quick to dismiss the idea at one point or another. I’m not saying I’m the perfect boyfriend kinda guy. I have lots of things to learn, I’ll admit. But I will not rant on about myself anymore. Hell, even I am tired of reading this. I just wonder what does it take to be that kinda guy that would be able to maintain a relationship.

 

I guess I’m just feelin’ a little lonely but there’s no helping it. I can’t really afford to have a ‘special someone’ at this point anyway. At least not now. I wouldn’t be able to maintain it because I’d have to leave the country in about a year. No use in getting into one when you know it’s going to end.

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