Passion of the Geek

May 11, 2008

“Find something to dedicate your heart and soul to.”

Never before have I felt so astray when I heard these words. It was bouncing around the inner niches of my head, causing near-emo tendencies to surface. After all, I knew for a fact that I could not hold onto something long enough to really give my heart and soul to. I’m the kind of guy who gets bored pretty easily. It’s almost ridiculous, really. One moment, I get the urge to play Final Fantasy VI so I go over rivers and mountains just to get the means to play. But after a few seconds into the intro of the game, I turn it off and find myself reading an article on Final Fantasy VII. It’s that bad.

So it shouldn’t surprise you now why I was so moved by these words from the strawberry ice cream(SIC) vendor. That’s why I’m trying to find that “one thing” to dedicate my time and soul to. Finding that, however, is turning out to be a bigger challenge than I first imagined. There are a lot of things to choose from. I know that at one point, gaming was the central feature of my geeky adolescence. It still is a strong influence for me but rare are those games which would really get me up and excited. (STARCRAFT2, STARCRAFT2, STARCRAFT2, STARCRAFT2, STARCRAFT2)


What do I have in mind then? Writing/Drawing. For the longest time, I’ve been doing one or both of these things. Then came the wonders of technology and computer gaming. It might seem immature to some but one of the things I still aspire to be is a game developer. I’m serious. A real-deal game developer that would (hopefully) release a role-playing game that would be loved by (most) gamers all around. It’s for that reason that I took up a programming course. That and my belief that I could learn more from an I.T. course than from an art/writing course.

My current job is a good ten thousand miles from my dream job but I’m gonna inch my way there. As with every dream, there has to be a starting point. I think I’ve dreamed long enough. It’s time to step up and rise to the challenge. It’s going to be a long and bitchy ride but “there’s no gettin’ off this train we’re on.” So I’m gonna start with just writing and drawing. It shouldn’t be too difficult since the SIC vendor said she’d help out by giving deadlines and such to pressure me.

I’ve gone on long enough without a burning passion to drive me. The Garden Re-opens.


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